Writing an obituary for someone you love is one of the most meaningful tasks you may ever undertake. It can feel overwhelming — especially during a time of grief — but an obituary is far more than a formal announcement of death. It is a tribute, a narrative, and a gift to everyone who knew and loved the person you are honoring. Whether you are writing an obituary for a parent, a spouse, a friend, or a young person gone too soon, this guide will walk you through every step with practical templates, real examples, and compassionate advice so you can craft a tribute that truly does justice to a life well lived.

What to Include in an Obituary

Before you begin writing, it helps to gather all the essential information. An obituary typically serves two purposes: it announces the passing and memorial service details to the community, and it celebrates the life of the deceased. Below is a comprehensive list of the elements most obituaries contain.

Essential Biographical Information

  • Full legal name — including maiden name, nickname, or any name the person was commonly known by (e.g., "Margaret 'Peggy' Anne Sullivan")
  • Date and place of birth
  • Date and place of death
  • Cause of death (optional — many families choose to omit this or use phrases such as "after a courageous battle with cancer" or "passed peacefully surrounded by family")

Family and Relationships

  • Names of surviving family members — spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, siblings, and parents (if living)
  • Names of those who preceded the person in death
  • Close friends, caregivers, or beloved pets, if appropriate

Life Story and Accomplishments

  • Education — schools attended, degrees earned
  • Career highlights and professional achievements
  • Military service and honors
  • Volunteer work, community involvement, and memberships (churches, clubs, organizations)
  • Hobbies, passions, and personal interests
  • Personality traits, favorite sayings, or memorable anecdotes that capture who the person truly was

Service and Memorial Details

  • Date, time, and location of visitation, funeral, or memorial service
  • Name of officiant or funeral home
  • Burial or cremation details (if the family wishes to share)
  • Charitable donations in lieu of flowers — include the organization name, address, or website
  • Link to an online memorial or guestbook where friends can share memories and condolences

Gathering these details before you sit down to write makes the process considerably smoother. Consider reaching out to siblings, cousins, old friends, or colleagues who may recall stories and milestones you have forgotten.

Step-by-Step Guide to Writing an Obituary

Knowing how to write an obituary is largely about organizing your thoughts and letting the person's story guide the structure. Follow these steps to create a complete, heartfelt tribute.

Step 1: Start with the Announcement

Open with the person's full name, age, city of residence, and the date they passed away. This is the factual foundation of the obituary and orients the reader immediately.

Example: "James Robert Mitchell, age 78, of Portland, Oregon, passed away peacefully on March 12, 2026, at his home surrounded by his loving family."

Step 2: Share the Life Story

This is the heart of the obituary. Write a narrative of the person's life — where they were born, where they grew up, pivotal moments that shaped them, and what they dedicated their life to. Think of it as telling the story of their life to someone who never had the privilege of meeting them.

You do not have to write in strictly chronological order. Some families prefer to lead with the quality or passion that most defined their loved one, then fill in the biographical details afterward.

Step 3: Describe Their Character and Passions

The most memorable obituaries go beyond dates and facts. They capture the essence of a person — the way they laughed, the things they cared about, the small habits that made them uniquely themselves. Did they make the best apple pie in the county? Did they never miss a single one of their grandchild's soccer games? These details are what transform an announcement into a story worth reading.

For more ideas on how to celebrate someone's unique personality, see our guide on how to personalize a funeral service.

Step 4: List Surviving and Predeceased Family

Following the life narrative, list the immediate family members. The traditional format starts with the spouse, then children (and their spouses), grandchildren, siblings, and sometimes close nieces, nephews, or friends. After the survivors, note those who preceded the person in death.

Step 5: Include Service Details and Special Requests

Close the obituary with the logistical information the community needs: when and where services will be held, whether the service is open to the public, and where donations can be directed. If you have created an online memorial page, include the link here so that friends and family who cannot attend in person can leave tributes, share photos, and stay connected.

Want a central place where family and friends can share photos, stories, and condolences?

Create a free Farewelling Memorial Page — a lasting tribute that keeps memories alive long after the service ends.

Step 6: Review, Edit, and Get a Second Set of Eyes

Before submitting, read the obituary aloud. Check for accuracy — correct spellings of names, accurate dates, and proper details of service locations. Ask another family member to review it. Errors in an obituary are permanent in print, so take the time to verify everything carefully.

Obituary Templates: Formal, Informal & Celebration of Life

Not every obituary needs to follow the same format. The style you choose should reflect the personality of the person being honored and the preferences of the family. Below are three obituary templates you can adapt to your needs.

Template 1: Traditional / Formal Obituary

[Full Name], age [age], of [city, state], passed away on [date] at [location or circumstance]. Born on [birthdate] in [birthplace] to [parents' names], [he/she/they] graduated from [school] and went on to [career or life path].

[Full Name] was a devoted [husband/wife/partner], loving [father/mother], and cherished [grandfather/grandmother]. [He/She/They] was a member of [church, organization, or community group] and dedicated [his/her/their] life to [passion, cause, or profession].

[He/She/They] is survived by [spouse], [children and their spouses], [number] grandchildren, and [siblings]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [names].

A [funeral/memorial service] will be held at [time] on [date] at [location]. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to [charity name and address]. To share a memory or leave a condolence, please visit [online memorial link].

Template 2: Informal / Personal Obituary

The world lost one of the good ones on [date]. [First Name or Nickname] [Last Name], [age], of [city, state], left us [peacefully/suddenly/after a brave fight], but [his/her/their] spirit lives on in everyone who had the joy of knowing [him/her/them].

[First Name] was born on [birthdate] in [birthplace]. Anyone who knew [him/her/them] knew that [he/she/they] lived life [describe approach — e.g., "with a coffee cup in one hand and a fishing rod in the other"]. [He/She/They] could always be counted on for [personal trait — e.g., "a perfectly timed joke, a bear hug, or a plate of his famous barbecue ribs"].

[He/She/They] leaves behind [family members] and a community of friends who will miss [him/her/them] dearly. [He/She/They] is now reunited with [predeceased family members].

A [celebration of life/gathering] will take place on [date] at [location]. Come as you are — [First Name] would have wanted it that way. In [his/her/their] memory, [do something meaningful — e.g., "hug your family a little tighter tonight"]. Share your favorite memory at [online memorial link].

Template 3: Celebration of Life Obituary

With hearts full of love and gratitude, we celebrate the extraordinary life of [Full Name], who graced this world from [birthdate] to [date of death].

[Full Name] believed that life was meant to be [lived fully/shared/explored/enjoyed]. From [his/her/their] early days in [birthplace], [he/she/they] embraced every chapter with [describe character — e.g., "curiosity, generosity, and an infectious sense of humor"]. [He/She/They] [career and achievements], but [his/her/their] proudest accomplishment was always [family, relationships, or personal passion].

[Include 2-3 sentences of personal anecdotes, favorite memories, or the qualities people loved most.]

[Full Name]'s legacy lives on through [surviving family members]. [He/She/They] was welcomed into eternity by [predeceased family members].

Please join us in celebrating [his/her/their] remarkable life on [date] at [location]. [Details about the tone — e.g., "Wear bright colors. Bring a story to share. There will be [his/her/their] favorite music playing."] In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you [charitable request or meaningful action]. Visit [online memorial link] to share your tributes.

If you are planning a celebration-of-life service, our article on celebration songs and the order of service can help you choose music and structure the event.

Obituary Examples for Different Situations

Sometimes the best way to learn how to write an obituary is to read ones that have been done well. Below are four complete obituary examples tailored to different circumstances. Use them as inspiration and adapt the tone and details to fit your own situation.

Example 1: Obituary for an Elderly Parent

Dorothy Mae Henderson, age 91, of Knoxville, Tennessee, passed away peacefully on February 4, 2026, at Morning Light Assisted Living, where she had been lovingly cared for over the past three years.

Born on June 17, 1934, in rural Blount County, Tennessee, to Walter and Edith (Simmons) Clark, Dorothy grew up on a small tobacco farm where she learned the values of hard work, faith, and family that would guide her entire life. She graduated from Maryville High School in 1952 and married the love of her life, Harold Dean Henderson, on October 11, 1953. Together they raised four children and built a life centered around their church, their garden, and Sunday dinners that could feed half the neighborhood.

Dorothy worked as a bookkeeper at Henderson's Hardware for over thirty years alongside Harold. She was a lifelong member of Grace Baptist Church, where she sang in the choir, taught Sunday school for two decades, and organized more potluck suppers than anyone could count. She was famous for her blackberry cobbler, and she never let anyone leave her home hungry.

She was preceded in death by her husband Harold in 2018, her parents, and her brother, Walter Clark Jr. She is survived by her children, Harold "Hank" Henderson Jr. (Linda) of Knoxville, Patricia Henderson-Moore (David) of Chattanooga, James Henderson (Carol) of Nashville, and Susan Henderson-Wright of Maryville; eleven grandchildren; fourteen great-grandchildren; and her sister, Betty Clark-Dawson of Sevierville.

Funeral services will be held at 11:00 a.m. on Saturday, February 8, 2026, at Grace Baptist Church, with Reverend Michael Tate officiating. Visitation will be held Friday evening from 5:00 to 8:00 p.m. at Harper Funeral Home. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to the Grace Baptist Church Building Fund or the Alzheimer's Association.

Example 2: Obituary for a Young Person

Aiden Christopher Reyes, age 24, of Austin, Texas, died unexpectedly on January 28, 2026. Though his time with us was far too brief, Aiden filled every moment with passion, kindness, and a light that drew people to him wherever he went.

Aiden was born on March 15, 2001, in San Antonio, Texas, to Miguel and Karen (Brennan) Reyes. He grew up skateboarding through the streets of the Alamo Heights neighborhood, building computers in his bedroom, and making everyone around him laugh with his quick wit and warm, self-deprecating humor.

He graduated from Alamo Heights High School in 2019, where he was a standout member of the robotics team and an all-district soccer midfielder. He went on to study computer science at the University of Texas at Austin and was set to graduate in the spring. His professors described him as brilliant and generous — the kind of student who stayed after class to help others understand the material.

Aiden loved live music, breakfast tacos, late-night coding sessions, his golden retriever Pixel, and cheering for the Longhorns. He had recently accepted a software engineering position and was excited to start the next chapter of his life.

He is survived by his parents, Miguel and Karen Reyes of San Antonio; his sister, Sofia Reyes of Austin; his grandparents, Luis and Maria Reyes of Laredo, Texas, and Donald Brennan of Chicago, Illinois; and more friends than anyone could count.

A celebration of Aiden's life will be held at 2:00 p.m. on Saturday, February 1, 2026, at Waller Creek Pavilion in Austin. Wear orange — it was his favorite. In Aiden's memory, the family has established the Aiden Reyes Memorial Scholarship Fund at the University of Texas. Contributions can be made at [link].

Example 3: Obituary for a Military Veteran

Colonel (Ret.) William "Bill" Francis O'Brien, age 82, of Alexandria, Virginia, died on February 10, 2026, after a long and valiant battle with pulmonary fibrosis. He faced his final challenge with the same courage and dignity he carried throughout his 30 years of distinguished military service.

Bill was born on September 3, 1943, in South Boston, Massachusetts, to Francis and Mary (Callahan) O'Brien. He was a proud graduate of Boston College, Class of 1965, where he earned a degree in history and was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant through Army ROTC.

His military career spanned three decades and took him around the world. He served two combat tours in Vietnam, earning a Bronze Star with Valor and a Purple Heart. He later served in Germany, South Korea, and the Pentagon, rising to the rank of Colonel before retiring in 1995. His soldiers knew him as tough but fair — a leader who never asked anything of his troops he would not do himself.

After retirement, Bill devoted himself to veterans' causes. He volunteered with the Wounded Warrior Project, mentored young officers at Fort Belvoir, and served on the board of the Virginia Veterans Foundation. He was also a devoted parishioner at St. Mary's Catholic Church, an avid golfer (though his family suggests "determined" was a more accurate word than "skilled"), and a voracious reader of military history.

Bill was preceded in death by his first wife, Catherine (Murphy) O'Brien, in 2003, and his parents. He is survived by his wife of 18 years, Linda (Garrett) O'Brien; his children, Captain Michael O'Brien, USMC (Jennifer) of Camp Pendleton, California, Kathleen O'Brien-Davis (Robert) of Fairfax, Virginia, and Patrick O'Brien (Samantha) of Arlington, Virginia; seven grandchildren; and his brother, Father Thomas O'Brien of Boston.

A funeral Mass will be celebrated at 10:00 a.m. on Friday, February 14, 2026, at St. Mary's Catholic Church in Alexandria. Full military honors will be rendered at a private interment at Arlington National Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Wounded Warrior Project or the Fisher House Foundation.

Example 4: Short Obituary for a Newspaper

Linda Susan Park, 67, of Denver, Colorado, passed away on February 18, 2026. She was born on April 22, 1958, in Omaha, Nebraska. Linda was a dedicated elementary school teacher for 35 years, touching the lives of thousands of students in the Jefferson County School District. She loved reading, gardening, and spending time with her grandchildren. She is survived by her husband of 42 years, Thomas Park; her children, Jennifer Huang (Kevin) and Michael Park (Anna); and four grandchildren. Services will be held at 1:00 p.m. on February 22, 2026, at Olinger Crown Hill Mortuary. Memorial contributions may be made to the Denver Public Library Foundation.

These examples demonstrate that there is no single "right" way to write an obituary. The best obituaries reflect the person they honor — formal or informal, long or short, solemn or warm. Choose the style that feels authentic.

Where to Publish an Obituary

Once you have written the obituary, you need to decide where to publish it. Most families use a combination of channels to ensure the widest possible reach.

How to Write an Obituary for a Newspaper

Newspapers remain the traditional venue for obituary publication, particularly for older generations who still read the local paper. Contact the newspaper's obituary department directly — most have submission guidelines, word limits, and per-line or per-word pricing. Some papers offer both print and online packages. Be aware that newspaper obituaries are often the most expensive option, and strict formatting requirements may limit your creativity.

Funeral Home Websites

Most funeral homes will publish the obituary on their website at no additional charge. This is often the first place people search when they hear of a death and want details about services.

Online Memorial Pages and Tribute Sites

Online memorials offer the most flexibility and longevity. Unlike a newspaper notice that runs for a day or two, an online memorial page remains available indefinitely — a permanent space where friends and family can return to read the obituary, share memories, upload photos, and leave condolences whenever they wish.

Create a lasting online memorial with a Farewelling Memorial Page.

Share the obituary, collect photos and stories from loved ones, and give everyone a beautiful place to remember — no matter where they are in the world.

Social Media

Sharing an obituary on Facebook, Instagram, or other social platforms is increasingly common, especially for reaching friends and extended networks quickly. You can post the full text, share a link to the online memorial, or write a more personal announcement. If the deceased had their own social media accounts, some families choose to post a final tribute there as well.

Obituary Length and Cost Considerations

One of the most common questions families ask is how long an obituary should be and how much it will cost. The answer depends on where you publish.

Obituary Length Guidelines

Type Typical Length Best For
Short / Death Notice 50–100 words Newspaper announcements with minimal detail
Standard Obituary 200–500 words Newspaper and funeral home publication
Extended / Feature Obituary 500–1,000+ words Online memorials, celebration of life programs

There is no rule that says an obituary must be a certain length. A short obituary can be just as powerful as a long one. The key is to include the information your community needs and the personal touches that honor the individual.

Obituary Cost by Publication

Newspaper obituaries are typically priced per line, per word, or per column inch. Costs vary dramatically by market:

  • Small-town newspapers: $50–$200 for a standard obituary
  • Mid-size city newspapers: $200–$500
  • Major metropolitan newspapers (e.g., The New York Times, Los Angeles Times): $500–$2,000+, depending on length and whether a photo is included
  • Funeral home websites: Usually included in the funeral home's service package at no extra charge
  • Online memorial sites: Many offer free basic pages, with optional upgrades for additional features

If budget is a concern, consider publishing a brief death notice in the newspaper and directing readers to a free online memorial page where the full obituary, photos, and tributes are available.

Tips for Writing a Meaningful Obituary

Even with a template in hand, writing an obituary that truly resonates takes thought and care. These obituary writing tips will help you go beyond the basics and create something the family will be proud of for years to come.

1. Write in the Person's Voice

Think about how the person spoke, what they valued, and what made them laugh. If they were formal and dignified, let the obituary reflect that. If they were irreverent and funny, do not be afraid to let humor come through. The obituary should sound like it belongs to them.

2. Be Specific — Avoid Generic Praise

Instead of writing "She was a wonderful mother," describe what made her wonderful: "She drove the carpool every morning for twelve years, always with a thermos of hot chocolate waiting on the back seat." Specific details create vivid images that resonate with readers and bring the person to life on the page.

3. Include a Meaningful Quote or Poem

Many families choose to open or close the obituary with a quote, Bible verse, song lyric, or poem that held special meaning for the deceased. This can set the tone for the entire tribute. For inspiration, explore our collection of funeral poems that can add depth and beauty to an obituary.

4. Consider the Reader

Remember that the obituary will be read by a wide audience — close family, distant relatives, old colleagues, neighbors, and strangers. Write in a way that helps someone who never met the person understand who they were and why they mattered.

5. Do Not Rush

If the funeral home or newspaper needs the obituary quickly, write a brief version for immediate publication and take your time crafting the fuller tribute for an online memorial or service program. Grief can cloud your thinking, and giving yourself even an extra day can make a meaningful difference in the quality of the writing.

6. Ask Others to Contribute

Some of the most beautiful obituaries are collaborative efforts. Ask siblings, children, friends, or colleagues to share a favorite memory or a sentence describing what the person meant to them. These contributions add richness and perspective that a single author might miss.

7. Read It Aloud

Before you finalize the obituary, read it aloud. You will catch awkward phrasing, missing information, and emotional notes that do not ring true. If it feels right when spoken, it will read well on the page.

8. Do Not Forget the Practical Details

In the effort to write a beautiful narrative, it is easy to forget the logistical information — service times, locations, and charitable donation details. Double-check that all practical information is accurate and clearly stated.

9. Preserve the Obituary Online

A newspaper clipping fades. A printed program gets tucked in a drawer. But an online memorial page keeps the obituary — along with photos, videos, and shared memories — accessible to family and friends for years to come. It becomes a living tribute that grows as people add their own stories and reflections.

Give your loved one's story a permanent home.

Create a Farewelling Memorial Page to share the obituary, gather memories from friends and family, and build a tribute that lasts.

Frequently Asked Questions About Writing an Obituary

Who typically writes the obituary?

There is no set rule. An obituary is most commonly written by a close family member — a spouse, adult child, or sibling. However, funeral directors, clergy, close friends, or professional obituary writers can also help. Many families collaborate, with one person writing the initial draft and others contributing memories and reviewing for accuracy. What matters most is that the obituary is written by someone who knew and cared about the person or who works closely with people who did.

How long should an obituary be?

An obituary can be as short as a few sentences or as long as several pages. For newspaper publication, a standard obituary runs between 200 and 500 words due to cost and space constraints. For online memorials and service programs, there are no limits — you can write as much or as little as feels right. A brief death notice announcing the passing and service details is perfectly acceptable, as is a longer, narrative-style tribute that tells the full story of the person's life. Choose the length that fits your purpose and your budget.

How much does it cost to publish an obituary?

Costs vary widely. Small-town newspaper obituaries may cost as little as $50, while a full obituary with a photo in a major metropolitan newspaper can cost $1,000 or more. Most funeral homes include online obituary posting as part of their services at no extra charge. Online memorial sites like Farewelling often offer free options as well. If cost is a factor, consider a short paid notice in the newspaper that directs readers to a free online memorial where the full obituary and photos are available.

Can I write an obituary in advance?

Yes, and many people do — especially when a loved one has a terminal illness or is elderly. Writing an obituary in advance, sometimes called a "pre-need" or "advance" obituary, allows you to take your time, involve the person themselves if they are willing, and avoid the pressure of writing under the immediate weight of grief. You can always update the details — dates, service information, and surviving family — when the time comes. Some people even write their own obituaries, which can be a meaningful and sometimes humorous gift to their families.

What should I leave out of an obituary?

An obituary is a public document, so use discretion. Most families omit the specific cause of death if it involves sensitive circumstances, though this is a personal choice. Avoid including information the deceased or the family would consider private — details about estranged relationships, financial matters, or family conflicts. If there are surviving family members who do not wish to be named, respect their preference. When in doubt, focus on the facts and qualities that celebrate the person's life and leave out anything that could cause additional pain during an already difficult time.

Writing an obituary is an act of love. It asks you to distill a lifetime into a few paragraphs — to choose the words that will represent someone you cherish to the world. There is no perfect obituary, only an honest one. Trust your instincts, lean on the people around you, and know that the effort you put into this tribute matters deeply. The story you tell will be read, shared, and returned to for comfort in the days, months, and years ahead.